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This Week in DIRT: Bloomquist Delivers Beating; Schatz’s Shots Report; Hearn Runs Out of Gas- Friesen Thrilled

Okay DIRT Nation, it’s now time to recap anything you may have missed in the week that was. We hope you didn’t miss anything, but things arise from time to time that take our eyes off the action. That’s where we come in as our primary job is to pay close attention to dirt, and to provide commentary on various concession stand items while getting high on race fumes.

Maybe you were in a fantasy football draft meeting all weekend. You know, hanging out with eight other guys drinking beer in your favorite NFL jersey while arguing, bickering, and figuring out how to cheat your way to better picks while making sure that your opponents get off to the slowest start possible.  Did you forget they were your friends too? Did you do some things you were ashamed of? Did you forget that there was some dirt racing taking place? You know, the track, the place where your real friends are? No worries here’s what you missed!

Bloomquist Delivers Beating In Pittsburgh:

Pittsburgh, PA: Scott Bloomquist arrived in Pittsburgh to do two things. Chew gum and kick ass, and unfortunately for the Lucas boys and the regional contingent of drivers, he was all out of gum. Nobody in the pits had any for him either unfortunately, or if they did have some, they had no intention of giving any for the legendary driver. So he took his frustrations out on the 35 car field at the annual Pittsburgher 100 at Pittsburgh Pennsylvania’s Motor Speedway this Friday and Saturday night.

Captain Zero took the field to task, winning his heat Friday, and winning the 100 lap feature Saturday night, taking the lead from the red hot Jonathan Davenport on lap 85 and never looking back on the way to collecting a $20,000 pay day.

Bloomquist’s victory was so impressive that he wasn’t allowed to leave apparently as it has been leaked to us that the Pittsburgh Steelers have just signed him to a one year contract as an inside linebacker. “I sure do appreciate the contract offer,” Bloomquist said to one of our commentators last night. “I’m off most Sundays and as long as they don’t mind taking a few laps around the field on game day and I can travel in my own hauler to the games, I’m all in!”  Bloomquist then requested that he receive his pay in novelty checks that he plans to show the crowd before kickoff.

Lucas Oil Late Model Series-Pittsburgher 100 Top 5

1. Scott Bloomquist
2. Jonathan Davenport
3. Don O’Neal
4. Jimmy Owens
5. Dennis Erb Jr

To read about Bloomquist’s Pittsburgh beat down click here: Bloomquist’s Pittsburgh Beat Down

Schatz’s Enhances His Own Drinking Game

Edmonton, AB: Donny Schatz did players of the infamous drinking game “Schatz’s Shots” a favor on Saturday night at Castrol Oil Raceway.  The World of Outlaw point leader was scheduled to start on the front row of the main event but managed to get something stuck in his fuel shutoff on a lap five restart.  The gremlin caused him to restart 16th, and as fans of the game are fully aware, one shot of an adult beverage is taken for every car Schatz passes in a main event.

Lately, that number had been very low as Schatz had been starting in the top 5 with regularity, invoking the “count all lapped car passes” rule for players. But on this night, Schatz was good for 14 shots following his charge to a second place finish, sending players on a tumble down the stairs at the end of the race, or a lengthy nap on the couch and a morning headache beyond belief.

As for the racing, Daryn Pittman wound up winning for just the fourth time on the tour in 2015, a far cry from his gaudy totals as a champion just two years ago. It was a win he was entirely grateful for as he thanked one crew member after another, until he’d forgotten all of their names.  Schatz managed to win the Oil City Cup which he then filled with unsweetened green iced tea and drank afterwards.

On a side note, it was reported that the Canadian Football League’s Edmonton Eskimos had offered Schatz a one year contract to play quarterback for the rest of the regular season to which the driver replied. “Didn’t I just win the rights to the whole team tonight? Why can’t I play tight end?”

World of Outlaw Sprints: Castrol Raceway; Saturday August 29:

1. Daryn Pittman
2. Donny Schatz (14 Shots for all Schatz’s Shots Players)
3. Logan Schuchart
4. Jason Sides
5. Shane Stewart

For the feature story, click here: Hell of a night for Schatz’s Shots players

Hearn Runs Out of Gas- Friesen Thrilled

West Lebanon, NY:  All-time great and legendary modified driver Brett Hearn was just about to win another Mr. DIRT Track USA title at Labanon Valley Speedway on Tuesday night in Super DIRTcar Series action. He’d been on a hot streak in recent days and had led 98 laps with two remaining, and ran out of gas.  How he managed that we’ll never know but even those familiar with him were surprised.

Toby Kobylarz, a 68 year old regular at the famed speedway was astonished.  The venerable “rent a crew member” employee (cheap fan looking for a free pit pass) had been gracing the pits there since he was a toddler and is still in disbelief. He spoke with us via telephone shortly after the event. “I never thought I’d see the day,” Kobylarz said.  ” I mean really, he ran out of gas? He walks around this place busting wind left and right for years, I mean he can really let it rip! I’m not sure what he eats but it’s powerful and it sounds like he’s stepping on ducks every time he walks by. He even cut the cheese in front of my girlfriend one night. If we could condense his vapors, he’d have 110 octane whenever he wanted it and a long supply too.”

Kobylarz was then informed that Hearn had run out of fuel and it had ruined his chance at the $17,000 pay day to which he replied. “Good, I was rooting for Bachetti anyway, he signed a tear off for me once…helluva guy!”  One person who was delighted to see Hearn run out of gas was 2014 TDN Modified Driver of the Year, Stewart Friesen who inherited the lead and held on to take the cherished title for the first time in his career.  Hearn ended up ninth which cost him some points in his quest to catch series points leader Matt Sheppard, whom by the way, never runs out of gas!

Top 5: SDS/Lebanon Valley, NY

1. Stewart Friesen
2. Matt Sheppard
3. Andy Bachetti
4. Tyler Dippel
5. Kenny Tremont Jr.

For the full feature story click here: Hearn Runs Out of Gas

First Time Winners at Williams Grove and Lincoln

Austin Hogue and Brandon Rahmer each took their first wins at Williams Grove and Lincoln respectively over the weekend. This is important because the price of the autographed ticket stubs are already reaching an estimated value of $7, so you’ll want to get yours signed as soon as possible!

In all seriousness, congrats to the both of them on winning at two difficult places! And one thing is for sure, you never forget your first time, whether it’s a wild night with a call girl, or a 410 sprint win at a legendary and historic dirt racing facility!

You can find the full recaps here:

Hogue collects 1st win at Williams Grove

Rahmer bests Montieth at Lincoln

And that’ll do it for this week, thanks so much for reading.

What happened at Lernerville Friday night?: Click Here:  Fab Four Report

Great Story on Sheldon Haudenschild, Aaron Reutzel and Parker Price Miller: Click Here

Want to see our brand new Big Block/358 Modified Rankings?: Click Here

Want a great Pasta Primavera Recipe?: Click Here

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