We’d bet most of you were in a food coma. It’s also probable you were under a pile of people at a department store as you hung on to some toy by a thread, poking the eye of the person trying to take it from you while the cops came and busted up the melee. Hope you’re proud of yourself. Gluttony and violence won’t get you far in trying to follow the goings on in DIRT nation, but it will bet you overweight, and in jail while little children laugh at you in the cop car.
So now that you’ve inhaled an entire bottle of Maalox and or called your lawyer to see if they could help get you out of the tank before those other dregs of society start to think of you as “fresh meat”, you can keep track of what you’ve missed in the week that was in DIRT.
So without further adieu…here’s This Week In DIRT!
National Open Adds 3rd Day:
The annual National Open, an October tradition at the famed Williams Grove Speedway, has announced that they will extend the weekend show by one day. This prompted many to take a guess at what might eventually be happening on that particular day.
Many in the local area described a “crisis situation” when people started speculating that the first day might possibly include the World of Outlaw Late Models or perhaps a mini version of the World Finals
This elicited a need a voice of reason which came in the form on one of our favorite drivers here at TDN, Mr. Dan Stone who said via twitter:
@WilliamsGrove that would be great except someone from @BeerhillGang just broke thier I-phone from throwing it across the room.
Mr. Stone’s comments brought to light, the fact that many of the rabid fan group located on said Beer Hill at the speedway complex would simply not allow for such nonsense on such hallowed ground.
We reached out to one of the leaders of Beer Hill, a Mr. Art Polansky for his thoughts on the prospect of World of Outlaw Late Models or Big Block Modifieds at the famed 1/2 mile as part of the 3 day National Open.
“That whole idea is kind of like a fart in church,” Mr Polansky said. “It’s like putting an outhouse in an elevator, we can’t let it happen simply because it would soil the good reputation we’ve strived so hard to achieve, not only on Beer Hill, but the Speedway as a whole. This place is the birthplace of sprint car racing, not taxicab watching! Ever see those late models time trial? They’re hideous!”
Plans for the three day speed fest which will most likely be three straight nights of World of Outlaw Sprints will be announced later this week. And by the way, if some Supers or Modifieds get invited, we here at TDN will be the first one’s in line to buy tickets!!
You can check out the announcement here
Madden Earns Crate Candy in Georgia:
Chris “Smokey” Madden, a former TDN driver of the week in 2014, won the $20,000 to win Turkey 100 at Swainsboro, GA Saturday night, besting a good many crate late models and their drivers en route to his 10th win of the season.
But it was no easy win. Jonathan Davenport, one of the only other drivers in the field we could recognize by name, tried to impede Madden’s progress twice on the last lap, causing damage to Madden’s car. In a bizarre twist in victory lane, Davenport then decided to take the opportunity to ridicule Madden for celebrating a “crate” win.
When asked what he would have done had he actually won, Davenport replied “I would have basically not smiled, put on sunglasses and not said a damn word, who in the hell does Madden think he is, you clearly can’t celebrate a crate win and everybody in the damn world outside of Smokey Madden knows that. When you take the cash out of some poor crate driver’s hands, you just don’t celebrate. It’s like doing a dance after farting in church.”
To see the full story from Swainsboro you can click here Oh, and btw, now would be a great time to become a subscriber to DirtOnDirt.com, so you can read the damn article!
Abreu Seals USAC Deal
Rico Abreu can rest easy tonight. The California driver finished fifth in the USAC National Midget finale at Perris, Ca Saturday night en route to claiming his first ever national midget championship. Though he may be short in stature, he’s long on talent, and in the end, Abreu stayed on top of Christopher Bell who’s had a phenomenal 2014,and actually took home the final checkered flag of the USAC midget season.
“I want to thank all my team, my family, and Abreu Vineyards,” Abreu said. “That’s some damn fine wine, I’m gonna hit some right now!”
For the full story from USAC, click here
The quote from Abreu prompted us to put Abreu Cabernet to the test regarding his last statement abut the quality of the wine. So we found a way to secure a bottle of Abreu Cabernet from a very disreputable source who we’ll not divulge, and gave it to our own TDN wine connoisseur, Mr. Willie Johnson. Mr. Johnson is a sometimes homeless wino who dresses in foul smelling clothes and has been known to drink rubbing alcohol when times are bad.
|TDN Wine Reviewer: Willie Johnson|
Willie Johnson’s Review: Abreu Wines
Well god damn! This damn wine is damn fine! Bottle looks good, but it ain’t got no paper bag round it which every good wino knows is where the flavor comes from. Don’t trust nothing that ain’t got that brown paper bag around it.
So I took one from my private stash and wrap around. Anyhow, It ain’t sweet, this ain’t no kind of wild irish rose, it’s kinda strong like mad dog 20/20, but without all that fruity garbage and carryin on an that. I finish the bottle in about two minutes, headache in about five, but from what I could taste…..this is some serious sh_t! Well done!
And that’s it for this week! Have a great one everybody and stay DIRTY!
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